Sometimes, you have to step back from your own life and see if you would respect yourself if you randomly met yourself….Would i?

There isn’t much regret in my life, I love everything i do, enjoy the people i meet, and try to stick with the ones that really matter. I play drums and play in bands with people I respect a bunch. I go to school, even though i honestly wanna get my degree already and try to get a real job and realize i still need to get better grades. blah blah blah

If my past self saw how I am right now, what would he think of me? did i achieve some dreams or got closer to some that he dreamt of? Did i let loose and just say ‘fuck it’ and let some shit go? Would he look up to me and respect who I am and what I live for?

…I don’t think so

I think i got caught up in hella “gray areas.” i ended up going for things instead of really thinking about it and the consequences. i thought some things would make me happy, but..did it?

It’s all about growing up also; making mistakes, realizing there isn’t just a right and wrong answer, livin’ it UP! But am I doing it in with some things at risk?  We still need those times where we step back from our own lives and reflect real hard…and i don’t like what i see

EDIT: I have to really thank a group of people who, even through these couple of years i thought i would lose, but ended up not. I love them to death, i honestly haven’t said that kind of phrase in the longest time and meant it from the bottom of my heart and i mean it now. I don’t see them as often as i should or show how much i care as much as i should but they’ve been there to make me feel ‘grounded.’ in the midst of everything, we all get caught up in shit we’re doing, wanting to do it over and over and maybe losing a little bit of yourself in the process. “They” helped me keep my head above my shoulders and see if this was really for me. “They” might think that all we did was just talk about our lives and just catch up, but that’s exactly what i needed, an escape to the outside.

EDIT2:

i hate guilt trips…=[ i feel really bad for either decision i make…i wanna do both…its just i made a commitment to one a little earlier than the other…

with each passing day, i feel like i’m getting more and more tired. i hope i could last through today without too much trouble. got lots to do…class 1150-6, midterm 345, bball game 6, league 830. done by 1030-11. at least i dont work today. lol

Stats is an alright class…if you keep up with everything and dont procrastinate. too bad i do all of that. i’m catching up and studying for the midterm thats gonna happen in about…13 hours. lol. i missed one day of class and got SO LOST, it was so ridiculous when i came back on monday.  haha i guess this is what i get.

today was aight. started with a midterm that wasnt too bad. then visited and spent time with buddies i havent seen in a while. went to creek’s girls bball game at oak grove. wow, epic jv game. haha then went to mlk library to start studying. left when it closed. now i’m at home still studying.

almost done!

it’s been a long weekend of working. didnt realize how much drama there was at work, it’s amazing. lol it drained me quite a bit. even though i finally have a job, i don’t feel anymore accomplished than how i did without one. hmmm i guess thats more of whats draining me rather than work itself.

i like how we’ve all changed…but nothing’s really changed. even though we’re all living our lives, and the time of seeing each other has decreased significantly, it’s still chill and uplifting.

Damn, these days are pretty boring. it gets kinda repetitive. its either school and homework and studying, or just work. then the time to unwind with a little bowling, but that’s gettin…kinda repetitive also. i wish someonething new comes up and takes me by surprise.

boo!

i don’t like how i get the urge and drive to blog at random times, then when i finally sit down on my laptop…it goes away. i had all these ideas come to me…POOF. haha oh well!

ello tumblrr!

Man, what a day, well i was planning to skip class cuz i had work, but conveniently the instructor cancelled class so i had nothing to worry about. then after work i was STARVING so i went home and ate. then i went to prospect and watch the girls bball game for morgan and so i can see momma duck cuz its her birthday!

she’s been a big supporter through my life. i can really call her a second mom. even though i might not see her as often as i should or call as often as i should, i feel like whereever she is, is where i can call a second home. i laaaaave her =] happy birthday momma!

then, i went bowling with josie, and then thai, then victoria, then carlo and his brother, chris, joined us. good night to bowl, i think i did alright.

out with the bowling buddies, hahaha happy bday nguyen(sp?)!

today was aight. =p

basically. i loved the sun while it lasted.

I wanna take advantage of this sun! omg, such a nice day out. i would…run, tennis, chill at a park, have a picnic, just anything outside! too bad i’m at home watching movies and chillin with milo. lol

Fuckin good day. haven’t hung out with the whole band and just chilled in a while. freakin having an unproductive practice. haha! then meeting up later in the night for some good chicken and beer. too bad the sharks lost -_- oh wellll. All good. not a big part of the night. good talks, good company, great atmosphere. love it =]

Life Long Dream…it’ll never die. never. i’ll keep working to it. even how unrealistic it is. that doesn’t matter. It makes me who i am and makes me happy…

<3