“I’m looking for a word. It’s a word that will describea something akin to missing someone, but in a way that’s not designed to cause pain. It’s a… manageable sweet but desperate kind of longing….”

These past couple weeks have been a TRIP itself. Saying my goodbyes, retelling the reasons i want to do this to my family and friends over and over. I can’t believe how exhausting everything has been. I remember just a week ago, going to the Philippines was just a dream and a goal just a reach away. Now that it’s finally here(the flight’s in 4 hours to be exact) I’m so nervous and anxious that I’ve been sick to the stomach for a couple days.

I appreciate all the showings of love and gratitude so many people have shown to me even though I might have just shown only a bit of thanks. Danger Zone! Everyone who was with me during the last nights.

I hope to immerse myself in the Philippines and take in as much as possible while still making myself and my parent’s proud. I want to be able to come back humbled but still proud, carrying a load of memories and experiences to share, and most importantly, a degree to get me somewhere. 

While having all of this in my mind, I have Serry Tran. I love her and want to be with her. I know this’ll be harder for me than it will be for her. But I have my trust in her and I know that’s a big step toward the right path. We’ll make this work baby. Faith.

Time to fuck shit up.